Tenchi Oni
by James Death
Summary: Alt Unerverse:Tenchi meet Ryoko and ....
1. Here comes Ryoko and Kiyone

Tenchi Oni....  
  
(Tenchi OAV themetune plays open up to Yoshos shrine)  
Tenchi:*walks up from steps*it was not easy but i got the keys from Grandpas office...lets se there Keys to all the shrine..  
(There is a flash...we see Ryo-ohki hits the cave)  
Tenchi:Jesus Christ *Runs up to the cave opens it and Rushes inside he finds Ryoko limping from the crash site*  
Tenchi:Are you ok Miss???  
Ryoko:AHHH MY %*^^($%)%LEG.*colapses on the ground*  
Tenchi:*sweatdrops*well *Is about to Pick up Ryoko when a shot wizzes past his arm,Kiyone steps from the shadows*  
Kiyone:Leave Miss Ryoko alone and you dont get hurt kid...  
Tenchi:Uh why GHHHHHHH*Ryoko Leaps up grabs Tenchi and Runs out of the acve with him over his sholder*Hi My names Ryoko what yours...  
Tenchi:AHHHHHHH  
Ryoko:Thats a intresting name..could you please do me a faver...  
Tenchi:AHHHHH  
Ryoko:Umm nevermind.....  
*she pust Tenchi down on the ground and takes a look around*wow..its so nice hear......but why is Tseng trapped here.....  
Tenchi:Wh-Who are you   
Ryoko:Ryoko..i need your help!!that Woamn with teal hair is a monster...SAVE ME!!!!!  
Tenchi:WAHHH.....a monster????  
*The Yagami apears*  
Kiyone:If you wish to dioe please continue....  
Ryoko:Pfftt FtaChance HAI!!!*Fire a Ki ball at the Yagami it hit dead on*  
Kiyone:Oh you.....FIRE*The Yagami starts fire like mad*  
Tenchi:Ryoko what hapenniinnnggggg*gets dragged away by Ryoko*  
Kiyone:DAMN!!! i better prepare the Mecha....  
*Break,are heros are running through the forrest dodgeing lasers from the Yugami*  
Tenchi:Ok...Who are you i WANT ANCERS  
Ryoko:Ok ok my Occyapation is a space Pirate i love moonlit wal-  
Tenchi:Not thoise kind of ancers  
Ryoko:Is that your place Tenchi...  
Tenchi:YeahAHHH  
*Suddeny Ryoko phases Tenchi to his Bed Room*  
Ryoko:We got here in one piece....  
Tenchi:I think im gonna faint now....  
NoBuyuki:*comes in*Twnchi your home at last and who the preety lady with  
Ryoko:(in her false helpless voiceMy name is Ryoko i was chased by an EVIL space Pirate but Tenchi hear saved me*She points at Tenchi who is  
currently gasping for air)*facefaults*  
Nobuyuki:oh okay,So Miss wil you be staying with us?  
Ryoko:Yes sir!!!  
Nobuyuki:yo TenchiI think she like you  
Tenchi:what gave you the first clue dad (!)  
*Nobuyuki leaves muttering about dinner*  
Ryoko:oh well might as well make myself comfertble...who a games console wanna play Tenchi...  
Tenchi:Maybe Later Ryoko i need a Lie down....*blacks out again*  
2 DAYS LATER  
Ryoko:*Playing the oh-so-fammiler fighting game*Take that and that dont do that NO NO WRONG COMBO *game over flashis on the scren*Dammnit...oh well lets get something to eat*phases out of Tenchi Bed Room*  
Tenchi:ahhhh finnaly some peace and que-*Rattleing is heard*Damn!!!!!,Ryoko what are you doing??  
Ryoko:Comes in with a sandwich as tall as the ceiling*Oh nothing Tenchi just makeing a Turkey-Jam-Penut butter-Mackrel and salad Sandwich  
Tenchi:ERK....  
*Ryoko swallows the Thing whole just like the snake on the TV*  
Tenchi:*Blinks*How the hell did you do that..ya gotta unhinge the jaw and stuff....  
Ryoko:I just put stuff in my mouth and chew..*door bell*Ill get it*she leaves the couch,Hallway she opens the door there a rather dirty Mecha at the door,Ryoko sweatdrops*  
Kiyone:Ryoko...you...are ...underarres AGHHHHH this plannet got to me i NEED CIVALISEATION *The Mecha explodes a rather scorched Kiyone walk from the wreckedge*  
what can go wrong now...*The Yagami explodes*  
Ryoko:Thats probley because you left the engine running the core overheated  
Kiyone:I KNOW WHAT HAPPEND!!!!  
Tenchi:whos at the door Ryoko...AHHHH its that woman....  
Kiyone:*Faints*  
Ryoko:Maybe im getting soft at this age *sighs*Tenchi get the bath ready *she picks up and drags Kiyone inside*  
  
END OF EPISODE 1:  
wellt hat was Tenchi Oni....the next episode Aeka comes!!!!in a difrent way of course i have tottaly rearanged Tenchi Muyo and Unerverese into one. 


	2. Tseng resarected and Aeka Takes Ryoko Pr...

Tenchi Oni Episode 2:Aeka arives  
  
(Cut to Tenchis house at 3 in the Moring Kiyone is lieing under the blossom tree thinking Ryoko sleeping on the branch Above her.)  
Kiyone:Aeka heard the message...*we see a star twinkle as we zoom it it apears to be Ryo-oh)  
Azaka:Now what was it you wanted to tell us misstress Aeka...  
Aeka:Officer Kiyone told me we should try and Negotiate with that Monster woman Ryoko...  
Kamidake:Aproaching Japen misstres  
Aeka:good,Prepare for landing....  
Ryoko:*Wakes up*What the RYO-OH!!!!  
Kiyone:Ryoko....please dont resist were trying to negoiate...  
Tenchi:*comes out*Ryoko what wrong??  
Ryoko:Kiyone has summond that Monster arfter me...  
Kiyone:Tenchi Ryoko is lieing.....  
Tenchi:Ryoko.....  
Ryoko:Allright!! she a princess!!!!  
Tenchi:A PRINCESS THIS PLACE IS NOT WORTHEY!!!  
*Ryo-oh is now really close to the Shrine*  
Ryoko:Here comes the Royal Pain in the Butt......  
*Aeka is beamed down folowed by Azaka and Kamidake they create a force field*  
Aeka:well...Ryoko it look like we caught you in the act of trying to resarect you brother...HAND ME THE ORB!!!!!  
Ryoko:well i may not get a chance to Resarect him buit *Throws the gray orb into the woods*if the Princess doesnet mind the mud and bugs she should get it.....  
Aeka:Damn you Ryoko........if you come peacefully your sentence should be Reduced to 100 years..  
Ryoko:Yeah like id beleave that *Mock Aeka Voice*Oh Yosho i shall avenge your death...  
Aeka:SILENCE!! your brother may have got away and got captured and impresend on this plannet but you wont get off that easy....AZAKA!! KAMIDAKE APREHEND HER!!!  
Tenchi:Wait a sec she dident do anything wrong....  
Aeka:Aprehend him to...  
Tenchi:Ah CRAP!!!!  
*Tenchi blacks out*  
  
*The gray Orb wizzes through the air and hits an old tree it lands in front of it...the a crakc forms in the old tre light shines through we zoom into the sky we hear a CRACK and Laughter*  
  
*Back to outside Ryo-oh Aeka turns around and looks around she gets beamed up into Ryo-oh,we se a figre leap into Ryo-oh*  
  
*inside Ryo-oh we the camra pans to show a young man age 21 he has a silver tail like Ryoko he wears a white Amarni suit with balck shoes gloves,a white cape and a white Zorro hat we can se the Gray Orb in the hat*  
Tseng:*grins*Aeka...a princess..how could she be so hartless....starst walking around looking for Ryoko*  
Tseng:hmmm were can my sister be?  
*we se Sasami walk behind him*  
Sasami:Hi.Im Sasami.  
*Tseng calmly Turns and bends down*  
Tseng:Hello Kiddo,do you know the cage were a Cyan Haired lady is kept??  
Sasami:Sure..BUT  
Tseng:Oh man....  
Sasami:have you got anything i can trade.  
*Tseng opens his hat and hands Sasami a BIG Dimond*  
Sasami:...i wasent Expecting that!!!!!  
Tseng:The Lady?  
Sasami:Folow me....  
*Tseng and Sasami walk by the cadges we come to one were Ryoko is lieing boredly on the grass she spots Tseng*  
Ryoko:Brother!!!! i risked my life to find you  
Tseng:*Grins*you got a good shot to...  
Ryoko:oh...is that the Rodian dimond we last stole *Points to Sasami who is gazeing at it*  
Tseng:Let her keep it..  
Ryoko:But i did things to the securty guard i still shudder at the thoughts....  
Tseng:Ya gotta let things go...ready to leave now  
Ryoko:..wait....  
Tseng:huh??  
Ryoko:we gotta find this guy i have met..  
Tseng:*grins*my sister has a crush...  
Ryoko:*goes red *shut up...  
Tseng: whatever you go find him....  
*10 mins past*  
Tenchi:whos he Ryoko  
Ryoko:That?oh he my brother...  
Tenchi:uh right  
Tseng:so your gonna try and get Ryoko to go out with you..good like lad..  
Ryoko:shhh*kicks Tseng in the shin*  
*Aeka apears*  
Aeka: i knew it!!!!  
Ryoko:hello ms Bitchy  
Tseng:well well well.....Ms Aeka..  
Aeka:OOHHHHH Azaka,Kamidake ATTACK  
A and K:Yes Mam!!!*They fly towards Ryoko and Tseng but Tseng and Ryoko step aside*  
Tseng:ill take A you takw K  
Ryoko:Gotcha  
*Tseng powers up his Balck hair Becomes silver white energy surrounds him*  
Tseng:here a litte Question A *activates a white light sword*How mutch pieces can an Oni take from a long in one SECEND *he slices at Azaka and the log goes flying*  
Ryoko:want me....come get me *Fires a powerfull Ki blast and send Kamadake flying into the wall*  
Aeka:Azaka!! Kamidake!!!!*runs towards the hurt gurdians*you demons shall pay..  
Ryoko:well duh  
Tseng:got anything else Miss Virgin???  
Aeka:AHHHHH*punches at Tseng he backflips behind her and Lands behind*That no way to treet your first....  
Aeka:why you...Ryo-oh self destruct   
Ryoko:wow she gonna blow up her own spaceship  
Tseng:*claps sarcasticly*well done..you wont survive to will you  
Aeka:AHHHHH!!!!  
Tseng and Ryoko:Rise up Ryo-ohki and Tseio-ohki!!!!!!  
*Cut to earth we se Ryo-ohki and another cabbit ship BUT with green window gems rise from the lake and blast off at full speed*  
Kiyone:*Runs in GP uniforms is on*Princess Aeka WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!  
Aeka:It was a mistake ohnest  
Tseng;well miss mistake id move if i were you..  
Aeka:what AHHHHHH *she just jumps as two spike burst through the floor*  
Tseng:ok..Princess Sasami Tenchi and Ryoko Azaka in Ryo-ohki the rest with me on Tseio-ohki  
*The whole gang gets beamed aboard the Cabbits*They just leave when....KAABBOOOMMM!!!! Ryo-oh explodes sending the Cabbits spining to earth.we se them both hit the lake*  
NEXT MORNING!!!!  
Sasami:Man that was a fun ride can we go on it again Aeka..  
Aeka:NO!!!  
Tseng:Dont worry Sasami we will try that again with the Cabbits when they are reborn  
Ryoko:Yeah...pass the noddles  
Aeka:SHUT UP WRETCHED DEMONS  
Tseng:Really miss i="Im so desprete to lose my Virginty ill go jump a servent*  
Aeka:*Blushes*THAT A LIE!!!!  
Tenchi:People people please  
Aeka:Sorry Lord Tenchi we and Sasami must thank you for your genarosity  
Tseng;Tenchis a good sport..  
Ryoko:yep  
*We zoom in on the two Cabbit eggs on the coffe tabble.One black the other green there both sweatdropping at the conversation*  
END  
  
Authers notes:well??? i hope you liked that..sorry about that Aeka lover but this IS a difrent Realty...NO FLAMES PLEEASEEEE!!!,Next episode...the Cabbits are born plus Mihoshi apears*  
  
  



	3. Mihoshi hits the forrest and Cabbits Reb...

Tenchi Oni Episode 3:Here come Mihoshiiiiiii!!!!  
  
  
(Masaki house day,Liveing room Tseng is watching TV when Ryoko and Aeka are fighting about something)  
Aeka:..it was mine!!!!!  
Ryoko:...oh yeah waht couler was you...  
Tseng:Thats it im gone *walks out the front door Tenchi Takes his place Ryoko and Aeka start flerting ETC*  
  
  
Cut to Earths amosphere Mihoshi in her tight GP Uniform is looking through a file marked "Disaperence of Princess Aeka and Kiyone Makibi)  
Mihoshi:my Partner and the Princess have disapeared they were last seen on this plannet.....^^ im gonna see if there down there....Yukinjo  
Yukinjo:*comes out the ceiling*yes Mihoshi?  
Mihoshi:Full sped to Japan on Earth!!!!  
Yukinjo:Right away!!!  
*The ship heads towatds earth*  
  
(Okay back on earth in the forrest Tseng is medatateing in a claringing when he hears a Huge Crash*  
Tseng:*opens eye lid*what the hell???*stands up tighttens his cape puts his hat on and walk near a smokeing area of the forrest*  
Tseng:hmmm a Galaxy police mark 5.2 cruiser...i wonder if there anything worth stealing...?*Tseng enters the Burning ship while phaseing right through the metel wars..his cape falls off he grabs the white cape and puts it back on he walks through looking at things...a few minnites later he has,Mihoshis laser blaster,Mihoshi space pen,Mihoshi Laser Bazokoh her cube and her GP Badge*  
Tseng:Hmmm 10 minites until core explosion...spots a tanned hand*ACK there someone on board NOW!! why dident that use the escape pod *sighs*well lets have a look at who it is  
*Tseng walks near the person removes the piles of debrey -It is Mihoshi her GP uniform is torn (She wereing her Battle suit under it you twisted Hentais)she has a small cut on the side of her head*  
Tseng:She looks like an anger *Gently picks her up and phases through the ship,he walks to another clearing near and stream he puts her down cups some water pours it into her mouth her eyes flutter open*  
Mihoshi:were am who are you why do i feel cold all of a sudden????  
Tseng:ok here are the ansers *sits on the ground*Question 1:Your on Earth,Japan 2.Tseng Hakubi and 3.your GP uniform is shredded and your cute battle suit is showing  
Mihoshi:Realy...? i dont remeber putting that on *Starts to blush*what am i saying!!   
*There is an elplosain Mihoshi jumps in the air*  
Mihoshi:What was that WHAT WAS THAT!!!!!!*She starts franticly running around in a circle Finnaly Tseng stop her*  
Tseng:Its okay....it was you spaceship blowing up but your fine now...  
Mihoshi:My..My My SPACESHIP!!! WAHHHHHHHHH*She cries a flood of tears which hit and soak Tseng*Oh im sorry.....  
Tseng:*sighs*i got your stuff *hands her the bag of the items he was planning to sell*  
Mihoshi:*suddenly Very happy*Oh Thank YOU!!!!*she hugs Tseng*  
Tseng:*Blushes*uh..uh..it-s okay...  
Mihoshi:have you sen this person *shows a pic of Kiyone*  
Tseng:*nods*yes Miss i know her..ill take you to the place she is staying  
Mihoshi:goodie!!!!  
*The two walk down the road to Tenchi hose*  
TsengVO:what wrong with me?? i keep looking at her i feel strange...is this what Ryoko calls "Love?"I just met her yet i feel so starnge around her ....  
*Mihoshi shivers*  
Tseng:Are you cold?  
Mihoshi:*nods*  
*Tseng takes off his cape and puts it on Mihoshi sholders*  
Tseng:do you feel ok??  
Mihoshi:*Nods*  
Tseng:so......your a GP officer...  
Mihoshi:uhuh  
Tseng:what you rank  
Mihoshi:1st class Detective  
Tseng:are you single.....did i just say that????  
Mihoshi:*giggles*yes....  
Tseng:uhuhuhu oh looks there the house now *opens the door*hello? Ryoko,Tenchi,Sasami,Aeka,Kiyone where is everey one??  
Ryoko:your homes at last Brother come Ryo-ohki and Tseio-ohki are being Born!!!who this?  
Mihoshi:im Mihoshi  
Ryoko:*grins*Tseng girl freind?  
Tseng:She just a girl i met and saved!!!!!  
Ryoko:what ever..*leaves for the liveing room*  
Tseng:come on we better see the Cabbits...  
*The two walk into the room*  
Kiyone:Mihoshi!!!  
Mihoshi:Sister!!*Runs and Hugs Kiyone*  
All but K and M:Sister!!!!!  
Mihoshi:Well step sister why are you here....  
Kiyone:*points at Ryoko*  
Ryoko:what???  
Tenchi:what that smell   
*The steam hisses from the cracks in the eggs*  
Ryoko:*smiles*Ryo-ohki is being born!!!!  
Tseng:..so is Tseio-ohki!!!!  
*The Green and black eggs crack open out pop the head of two Cabbits eyes shineing at the new world,one of them is black with silver eyes and paws with a green gem on his forehead this is Tseio-ohki the other is Ryo-ohki*  
Ryoko:oh so KAWAII*Picks up Ryo-ohki and does the same thing she does in OVA 3)  
Tseng:Well nice to see you again little Buddy *picks the black Cabbit up*  
Mihoshi:There so Kawaii!!!! could i hold one  
Tseng:sure *hands Tseio-ohki to Mihoshi ,Tseio-ohki look at her and goes Mrow?*  
(Black out creds and Themesong)  
  
Authers notes:i have some posative reviews and working hard next episode:Are heros get kidnapped by an Alien called the colecter....  



	4. The Carnival and Auther messes around a ...

Tenchi Oni  
Episode4:The Carnaval...  
  
(Its was the usal day at the Masaki house.Ryoko and Aeka Fighting Tseng trying to calm them down,Tenchi sweeping leaves at the shrine,Mihohi napping,Kiyone writeing out a Report Sasami was cooking and the 2 new Cabbits were eating there share in Carrots)  
Aeka:..it was Clearly MY toothbrush Ryoko it was puple and had my name engraved on it..and you you gave it to your CABBIT!!!!  
Ryoko:It was Tseng idea  
Tseng:who me i wouldent think about abuseing the Royal Toothbrush....we did it together like old times Ryoko:Tseng!!!!!  
Tseng:what?  
Aeka:oh you......  
Tenchi:ok what happend  
Ryoko:well Tenchi Aeka fussing about her toothbrush  
*Tseng phases away before he can get caught*  
Tenchi:Huh   
*Ryoko Phases away*  
Aeka:Tenchi you must stop them  
Tenchi:Aeka,Ill buy you a new Toothbrush...  
Aeka:*Bows*Thank you Tenchi  
*Meanwhile-CHANGE SCENE...The Liveing room Tseng watching Mihoshi sleep Ryoko look like she is planning something next to him*  
Tseng:......i wish i had my paints with me..thios scene is so so...well i never used the word before.Cute.  
Ryoko:shhh Onee-chan im trying to think...  
Tseng:.........  
*Tseng notices a curl of Mihoshi full over her closed eye he Brushes it off*  
Ryoko:*singsong*Somebody bit my the love bug  
Tseng:wah *blinks*  
*The Cabbits walk up to there Owners Miowing*  
Tseng:woah Tseio-ohki...that twice as much carrots you usaly have..being dead takes a toll on you huh?  
*Tseio-ohki meows*  
Ryoko:well..........Ryo-ohki dont go eating anymore....im not clearing up your barf again....  
Tseng:.....well im bored......*Picks up the paper*Hmmmm intresting there is a Carnaval tonight  
Ryoko:A carnival ay?that Brings back Memories Onee-chan  
Tseng:yeah....do you think we can fool the locals?  
*Mihoshi starts to Ster*  
Tseng:hark she sters in the morning sun...  
Ryoko:err Tseng its eveing son..  
Tseng:Ryoko have you any memories of Mother and Farther....  
Ryoko:no only this lockit they gave to me....  
Tseng:i have a little bit of Memories...but they are fadeing we are both 2000 years old.  
Ryoko:..........come on lets cheer up......are past is are past this is the *Red flashing back ground with Japanise Writeing *PRESENT!!!!!  
*Mihoshi sits up and is fully awake*  
Mihoshi:hello Ryoko hello Tseng....  
Tseng:Miss Mihoshi....  
Ryoko:eveing Mihohshi  
Mihoshi:oh my!! i got to meet my sister Kiyone to prepere for are Carnaval stall.....  
Tseng:hmmmm....i got an idea!!!!  
Sasami:Oh a Carnaval can i come Tenchi  
Tenchi:oh course Sasami you can help me with my stall !Dunk my dad"  
Authers notes:*Sweatdrop*sorry about the Corny name...  
Tenchi:Sorry about the corny HEY!!!!  
Sasami:Tenchi who are you talking to.....  
Tenchi:Nothing Sasami im going to prep the stall *walks out Zombielike*  
Sasami:....okkkkaaaayyyyy...you wont have anything to do with this Mr Auther....  
Authers notes:Little old me dont be silly.........  
Sasami:Mr Auther  
Authers notes:Ok fine it was me....  
Sasami:Good..now remeber Lieing is wrong right ?  
Auther Notes:Yes Sasami.Charicter interaction with Sasami...you dont see that to much folks..no ahem on with the Story....  
Sasami:Good.Ok guys its dinner time.  
  
The Shrine was litterd with stalls about a Mile long people were selling goods all over the place Tenchi was about Curios as a little child.So was Sasami.As are Heros and his freind sift through the crowd lets se what are fav Duo is up to....  
Aeka:*Through loud speaker*Ladies and Gentleman comes to Aekas *Drum rool and FanFare*Laser play!!!!!  
Auther notes:Yep.Laser play.Bet you dident see that one comeing.  
Aeka:Excuse me Mr Auther can you please let me finnish  
Authers notes:Nothing stopping you Aeka.  
Aeka...its the play of A beutiful Princess being rescued by a Knight from a Horrible Demon...  
Authers note:Could be worse i mean she could of had a laser show of the Cable guy.....  
Random man:Lets the lady finnish im intrested...  
Aeka:...only 1 YEN!!!!  
*Behind the booth Azaka and Kamidake are the Projecters*  
Azaka:i rember telling the Princess story when she was young  
*Ok now Ryoko and her Onee-chan *grinz*  
Ryoko:*looking through Bonoculers*Hmmm we need to get something far better and that...STOP LOOKING AT MIHOSHI ONEE-CHAN...this is a matter of Famly and Ohner....  
Auther notes:This is gonna be good folks.  
Tseng:Huh sorry Onee-chan...she just looks so.cute.in that apron...  
Ryoko:stall idea stall idea......hay i rember you got thoise funky recorder watcher stored in subn space...  
Tseng:just a sec *Pulls out a crate from now where*Thank god for air tight Creates...  
*Ryoko pulls out a crowbar from her dress and opens the create smoke clears...and there a stall!!!!!!  
Ryoko:Damn i gotta clean up thoise exclamation marks....  
Tseng:Ryoko lets try and keep the story going.....  
Ryoko:ROOL UP GET THE SUPER MEGA WATCHES  
Tenchi:Is it me or are theise corny Titles getting to us....  
Kiyone:You watch to mutch of the dub...  
Mihoshi:come to the Makabi pottery store works of art extrodenere!!!!!!  
*The crowd mass up at Ryoko and Aekas store Tseng looks bored and walk off to Mihoshi and Kiyones store*  
Tseng:Man this pottery is good....what this hmmmm*Picks up a rather good looking piece of Pottery*She made this with her two hands......AHHH*A huge laser slices past Tseng he drops the pot it hit the small table causeing a shock wave and Destroying all the other pots*Epp she gonna hate me...wait a sec i HAVE more that enough to pay her off *Grabs a pen and piece of Paper out of no where and writes a note*There *Takes out 25000 yen and puts it in the register,Tseng walks off*  
Mihoshi:Hey Kiyone were did all the pottery go?  
Kiyone:I dont know Mihoshi...hey a note *picks it up*I have seen your works of art and purchesd all of them...please check you register for the Money..  
Mihoshi:*Opens the Register her Eye bug out*K-K-Kiyone there over 25000 yen !!!  
Kiyone:....  
*we hear Kiyone and Mihoshi whoop for joy* 


End file.
